The Art of Experiencing Loss
'Experiencing Loss' is not an art nor an act of conscious recognition, but the unconscious awakening and unbridled release of deep core emotions as a physiological reaction, immediate or delayed. From experience there is no preparing for this anguished onslaught of unbearable emotional, mental and physical weight.
When notified of the inevitable death of my father, for which I'd prepared over the years of his illness, I was overcome with the peace and calm of knowing he had finally moved on from pain and suffering. I rejoiced. Then time moved on to dealing with family and all that went along with his death, their loss experiences.
Again time moved on and I found myself alone within a crowd, reflecting and remembering deeply my father. That's when my loss hit me, what I assumed to be the weight of my grief, and I broke down into anguished tears and gasps for breath. I just let it all flow, making no attempt to suppress or hide my bared emotions, and that's when it hit me -
"Grief is really just love. It's all the love you want to give but cannot. Grief is just love with no place to go."