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Dan's avatar

Read up on Dopamine. It makes a dope of you. Pot, porn, gambling etc. all vices are Dopamine fixes. Self-control is job 1.

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Jeri Massi's avatar

I've already replied once in notes, but now, having read the full article, I will write again. I am a woman martial arts master, and i qualified (many years ago) to train for the qualifier for TaeKwonDo in the Olymnpics. I really wanted to go out to California and train, but I did not have the money. But reality was not that far from my mind. I would not have qualified. Nice to be asked, though!

I studied martial arts (several, each at different times) first because my father violently abused me, and I wanted both revenge and safety. But once I outgrew my outrage, I wanted safety as a woman, and I also wanted a disciplined, courageous mind, since I am a coward at heart.

When I was young, I liked sparring because I wanted to test myself and improve and understand the necessary mentality of the calm, relaxed, self-possessed fighter. Combat is a mental game. But I did injure an opponent once, by accident, thinking he would stop as I came forwad. He did not, and with a single punch, I broke his nose and shattered part of his cheekbone and put him in the hospital. I quit for several years after that.

As I got older and advanced through the black belt ranks, I disliked sparring more and more. I did not want to hurt anybody. And the more experienced I became, the more I recognized that no matter how careful I was, I could still hurt somebody. As for me, I suffered a broken toe a couple times, was knocked out a few times, and had my ribs broken twice. I always came back.

But by the time I was third degree black belt (and I retired at fourth degree), I liked my fellow black belts, and I wished the new students well. I didn't want to spar any more, but I had to, so I did. And my reluctance did not stop me from decking a lower ranked black belt man who sassed me. Yes I could do that, and I did when I had to, but I didn't like doing it. In fact, my greatest anger was that some people pick a fight, and in the dojang, you have to put them down one way or another to keep your standing. I get mad at them for being such losers that they have to pick a fight. Usually, that type of person quits in the first year, but one or two go all the through to higher ranks.

I am glad I studied martial arts all my life. In October of 2022 I was diagnosed with Stage Three Cholangiocarcinoma, one of the super killers of cancers. My Christian faith is deeply colored with my martial arts mind, and I use the path to death to improve my mind and to exercise my faith. And God has been my friend through all the ups and downs and sufferings of cancer. So I'm glad I studied and practiced martial arts. As always, YMMV - Jeri Massi

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